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EyesofGreen07
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Name: Amanda
Country: United States
State: Ohio
Metro: Columbus
Birthday: 2/5/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: Well, I am always doing some form of homework! In my free time I love to sleep, watch American Idol, hang out, work out (ha! just kidding!), scrapbook....or do basically anything. I consider myself very open-minded. I chose the above photo only because Brock does not like it. HA! I'll show him.
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  Major03
Member Since:
1/19/2005
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| Wow, I need to update more often.
So, life is going okay. I
have 2 more weeks of school left and then I get to 'enjoy' my christmas
break. And by 'enjoy' I mean...work 40 plus hours at Cosi.
I wish I could say that I'm excited, but I'd rather get hit by a car
then work there anymore.
My family is still crazy.
On the bright side, though, my sister, Lisa, has been clean and sober
for over one hundred days now. She only had one slip up with
alcohol, but she is still in recovery and trying very hard. She
has an apartment now and is trying to get her life back together.
I told her to embrace this time because there are millions of people
out there who wish they could have a second chance, and she got
one. I'm very proud of her.
I'm stressed and tired, but
thankful for my life. This is a big year for me and I am looking
forward to it. I consider everyday to be a blessing.
Take Care!
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| Wow, I need to start updating. Maybe tomorrow. Ha.
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| Driving away from the wreck of the day
And the light's always red in the rear- view
Desperately close to a coffin of hope
I'd cheat destiny just to be near you
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up
On love
Driving away from the wreck of the day
And I'm thinking 'bout calling on Jesus
'Cause love doesn't hurt so I know I'm not falling in love
I'm just falling to pieces
If this is givin up, then I'm giving up
On love
Maybe I'm not up for being a victim of love
All my resistance will never be distance enough
Driving away from the wreck of the day
And it's finally quiet in my head
Driving alone, finally on my way home to the comfort of my bed
And if this is giving up, then I'm giving up
On love
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| So, I need to vent about something. I need to change. I say
this ALL the time, but this time I really, really mean it. I must
change. Not for anyone else...but for myself. I'm not
talking like a 'I will never eat carbs again' kinda change.
I'm talking about a progessive change. I need to do this.
The whole reason I am so damn miserable is because of the way I
look. I will not be happy until that changes. That will
never change. It is SO easy for me to slack off and just forget
about dieting, etc. But, I'm talking about making a total
lifestyle change - not just weight loss. I have slowly been
letting myself slack off and that is totally unacceptable. 3
years ago I would have never let this happen. I didn't even used
to stop to take a breath. Now, I stop, take a nap..make a phone
call...it's ridiculous. Things are going to change. I don't
think my personality sucks or anything....I just need to modify certain
parts of my life. It is completely necessary if I don't want to
be miserable for the rest of my life. I am sick of myself.
I truly believe that today I reached my breaking point...and I've never
been happier. Changes are coming. Permanent changes.
Just you wait. 
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| So, I'm having one of those days where I question my entire
existance. Technically I could blame it on the fact that I am a
woman and it is that time of the month, but I prefer not to.
Anyway, do you ever have one of those days where you question
everything that you believe in? All of your morals? Your
career choices? Well, ladies and gentlemen...that is the kind of
day I am having.
I've come to the conclusion that I really don't know
anything. I like to think I do...but, I don't. I would love
to be a lawyer....and then go into politics. BUT, everyday I
question whether or not I should have gone into medicine or
communications or education...and it's annoying. I guess I know
what I WANT to do...I just don't know what I'm supposed to be
doing.
I've also decided that I need an entire body
makeover. I need to start being more feminine. I look like
i don't even try...which would be accurate. I need to style my
hair more..put on some stinking make-up...and for the love of God and
all that is holy...I MUST start going to the gym. I am too fat
and it's really annoying. I know I sound like I'm conforming to a
beauty standard or something....but, I'm not...I'm conforming to my own
standards and that's okay with me. Obviously.
I've also decided that I need to be more thankful. I
love, love, love my friends...but, I never tell them I do. They
should know that I couldn't live without them.
Okay, I think that's all I'm writing for now because I am
too emotional to be psycho-analyzing this much. I'm kind of
ridiculous. Freaking ovaries! I hate You! 
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